There's a girl that I like a lot. Named Dani Allie. I think you know her. She's pretty awesome, she makes me food and hangs out with me even when my sister's not there.
We have fun times together. :)
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
"A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains..."
Thoughts on mess-ups, guilt, shame, and God's grace.
Most times I'd like to think I have stuff in my life under control. I'd like to think I can keep a pretty good, healthy balence with everything. But every once in a while, I slip up... sometimes I fall flat on my face, and others I just trip over myself a bit. But the bible says that either way, a small or big mess up, I automatically fail. Boom; game over.
"For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking it all." It is so easy to just read James 2:10 by itself and think, "Wow, God tells me that I'm a failure and there's pretty much no hope for me." Awesome. And for many years of my life I thought just that. Oh, I knew that God loved me and that he has forgiven me many-a-times. But I didn't really truly believe it in the intermost parts of my being. Because of that there has been a constant layering of more and more guilt in me. I didn't know how and I didnt want to let it go. The little or the big things. There have been some recent experiences in my life that have been a HUGE wake-up call to me that I need to be more aware of my thoughts and actions... I can't participate in a church service and sing "Take it all" when I really don't truly mean it. I can say that I give everything to God, but the truth is I'm holding on to my guilt with a tight squeeze. Because, number one, it makes me feel better. I'm not really sure why, but I guess if I feel bad about what I did and just keep clinging on to those awful feelings about stuff I do wrong, then I know it was wrong. If I just let it go, I can't feel bad about it anymore. The second reason why I keep my guilt close to me is that I hate to feel vulnerable, and I hate confrontation. If I were to let it go, I'd have to pull it out and deal with it. If I just keep it inside then it's tucked away, nice and neat so that no one else will ever have to know about it, and it would be just fine. And then I read this...
"Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean slate of my failures to God."
Suddenly the pressure was gone—my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared." (Psalm 32:5) This helps me to visualize the light at the end of the tunnel. I know that in the end, letting go of pain and guilt I've carried around for so long, will turn out exponentially better for me. It's just going through the pain of having to deal with all the stuff I have done that scares me more than anything. God's grace is so much more than enough for me, and I'm just starting to realize the depth of that. "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking..." In Mexico, my super awesome fanatstic small group :), talked a lot about trust in God. About how trust in God is something that comes with experience. The more hard times a person is faced with, the more their trust in God is stretched. I think it's the same with understanding God's unfailing love and grace. If you did everything right, and never messed up, (which is impossible) than you would never know how incredible the grace of God is. The fact that Jesus can hang, nailed to a piece of wood, blood pouring out of him, and say "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" baffles me to no end. There's no way I will ever know how amazing, and how unconditional the love of my heavenly father is. My love is so uncredibly conditional, and my continual prayer is this...
God, forgive me for my mistakes, take my guilt and rid me of it. Help me to let it all go. I want to understand your never ending, unconditional grace and love towards me. "Take my life and let it be, EVERYTHING, all for you! Here I am, use me for your glory! In EVERYTHING I say and do, let my life honor you! Here I am, living for your glory!!"
Most times I'd like to think I have stuff in my life under control. I'd like to think I can keep a pretty good, healthy balence with everything. But every once in a while, I slip up... sometimes I fall flat on my face, and others I just trip over myself a bit. But the bible says that either way, a small or big mess up, I automatically fail. Boom; game over.
"For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking it all." It is so easy to just read James 2:10 by itself and think, "Wow, God tells me that I'm a failure and there's pretty much no hope for me." Awesome. And for many years of my life I thought just that. Oh, I knew that God loved me and that he has forgiven me many-a-times. But I didn't really truly believe it in the intermost parts of my being. Because of that there has been a constant layering of more and more guilt in me. I didn't know how and I didnt want to let it go. The little or the big things. There have been some recent experiences in my life that have been a HUGE wake-up call to me that I need to be more aware of my thoughts and actions... I can't participate in a church service and sing "Take it all" when I really don't truly mean it. I can say that I give everything to God, but the truth is I'm holding on to my guilt with a tight squeeze. Because, number one, it makes me feel better. I'm not really sure why, but I guess if I feel bad about what I did and just keep clinging on to those awful feelings about stuff I do wrong, then I know it was wrong. If I just let it go, I can't feel bad about it anymore. The second reason why I keep my guilt close to me is that I hate to feel vulnerable, and I hate confrontation. If I were to let it go, I'd have to pull it out and deal with it. If I just keep it inside then it's tucked away, nice and neat so that no one else will ever have to know about it, and it would be just fine. And then I read this...
"Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean slate of my failures to God."
Suddenly the pressure was gone—my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared." (Psalm 32:5) This helps me to visualize the light at the end of the tunnel. I know that in the end, letting go of pain and guilt I've carried around for so long, will turn out exponentially better for me. It's just going through the pain of having to deal with all the stuff I have done that scares me more than anything. God's grace is so much more than enough for me, and I'm just starting to realize the depth of that. "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking..." In Mexico, my super awesome fanatstic small group :), talked a lot about trust in God. About how trust in God is something that comes with experience. The more hard times a person is faced with, the more their trust in God is stretched. I think it's the same with understanding God's unfailing love and grace. If you did everything right, and never messed up, (which is impossible) than you would never know how incredible the grace of God is. The fact that Jesus can hang, nailed to a piece of wood, blood pouring out of him, and say "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" baffles me to no end. There's no way I will ever know how amazing, and how unconditional the love of my heavenly father is. My love is so uncredibly conditional, and my continual prayer is this...
God, forgive me for my mistakes, take my guilt and rid me of it. Help me to let it all go. I want to understand your never ending, unconditional grace and love towards me. "Take my life and let it be, EVERYTHING, all for you! Here I am, use me for your glory! In EVERYTHING I say and do, let my life honor you! Here I am, living for your glory!!"
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Breathe in deep.... aaaand GO!
Let us all take a moment to breathe in a collective deep breath. Mmmm, doesn't that make you feel nice and relaxed? Well, enjoy that small moment, because it's gonna be a crazy ride, and I like lists. :)
Ready?
Ok, good, here we go!
First/Second day of school
--->Overwhelming
--->Chaotic
--->AP Seminar.... Hmmm, it's gonna be a fun year.
--->Great to see friends!
--->Physics=Pretty much death
--->More to come...
Random thoughts swimming around in the recesses of my brain...
--->I CANT WAIT FOR GSM TO STARTTTTT!!!!
--->How am I going to get a 4 page spanish vocab packet done by tomorrow...?
--->My devotion was really good this morning...
--->"What good is to gain the whole world, but lose your soul?"
--->I use a lot of these: ...
--->Hmmm, I wonder what those are called, I can't seem to think of it right now
--->I'm a big fan of Tim Hughes
--->Ooh, I have to go babysit.
Sorry for that very pointless, picture-less post... I'll make for it later :)
Bye, friends
Ready?
Ok, good, here we go!
First/Second day of school
--->Overwhelming
--->Chaotic
--->AP Seminar.... Hmmm, it's gonna be a fun year.
--->Great to see friends!
--->Physics=Pretty much death
--->More to come...
Random thoughts swimming around in the recesses of my brain...
--->I CANT WAIT FOR GSM TO STARTTTTT!!!!
--->How am I going to get a 4 page spanish vocab packet done by tomorrow...?
--->My devotion was really good this morning...
--->"What good is to gain the whole world, but lose your soul?"
--->I use a lot of these: ...
--->Hmmm, I wonder what those are called, I can't seem to think of it right now
--->I'm a big fan of Tim Hughes
--->Ooh, I have to go babysit.
Sorry for that very pointless, picture-less post... I'll make for it later :)
Bye, friends
Sunday, August 16, 2009
A few verses and quotes from Mexic09
"Do not despise small beginnings , for God rejoices at the start of the work."
Zachariah 4:10
"Peace has less to do with the absence of uncomfortable and unwanted things in life, but more to do with what God offers us in the midst of trouble. His peace, presence, joy, hope, and faith."
John 16:33
"If we look better to those we share a pew with than to those we share our street with, there is a problem. If we can lead a great children;s Sunday school class, but yell at the kids who cut through our yards... if we can pontificate complicated spiritual truths and be impressive at church, but lack a loving response in our homes, than we have a problem."
Beth Guckenberger
"Shelter, is it only a place or is it a state of being? A state of being at peace, a state of being safe- mentally and physically, a state of trusting in someone you can neither see nor feel. David walked through his life with those assurances. Not a perfect man, but a man who tried to be perfectly connected to God. Therein lies the secret to true shelter. It is directly dependent on our relationship with God."
Kathy Couch
"God is the only eternal shelter and refuge and what He does is not exclusively physical but often times emotional and spiritual."
Kathy Couch
"When everything around us is changing so rapidly and feeling so uncontrollable, isn't it a comfort to have a SHELTER that does not change? A SHELTER that is the same yesterday, today and forever."
Kathy Couch
"Peace is not the absence of conflict. Peace is a state of minds. Those who experience peace have love in their hearts even when turmoil surrounds them."
Greg Huffer
"God's promises of shelter apply on the most profound level of eternal things. No matter what happens to us in this life, nothing an no one can snatch us out of God's hands."
Greg Huffer
"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
"Let us not become a people that gets comfortable with just hanging out with the 99. Let's get up, and go after THE ONE. God, help us to become a generation that will go and search for THE ONE, just you pursued us."
Beth Guckenberger
"Let them watch me burn."
Mark Beeson
Zachariah 4:10
"Peace has less to do with the absence of uncomfortable and unwanted things in life, but more to do with what God offers us in the midst of trouble. His peace, presence, joy, hope, and faith."
John 16:33
"If we look better to those we share a pew with than to those we share our street with, there is a problem. If we can lead a great children;s Sunday school class, but yell at the kids who cut through our yards... if we can pontificate complicated spiritual truths and be impressive at church, but lack a loving response in our homes, than we have a problem."
Beth Guckenberger
"Shelter, is it only a place or is it a state of being? A state of being at peace, a state of being safe- mentally and physically, a state of trusting in someone you can neither see nor feel. David walked through his life with those assurances. Not a perfect man, but a man who tried to be perfectly connected to God. Therein lies the secret to true shelter. It is directly dependent on our relationship with God."
Kathy Couch
"God is the only eternal shelter and refuge and what He does is not exclusively physical but often times emotional and spiritual."
Kathy Couch
"When everything around us is changing so rapidly and feeling so uncontrollable, isn't it a comfort to have a SHELTER that does not change? A SHELTER that is the same yesterday, today and forever."
Kathy Couch
"Peace is not the absence of conflict. Peace is a state of minds. Those who experience peace have love in their hearts even when turmoil surrounds them."
Greg Huffer
"God's promises of shelter apply on the most profound level of eternal things. No matter what happens to us in this life, nothing an no one can snatch us out of God's hands."
Greg Huffer
"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
"Let us not become a people that gets comfortable with just hanging out with the 99. Let's get up, and go after THE ONE. God, help us to become a generation that will go and search for THE ONE, just you pursued us."
Beth Guckenberger
"Let them watch me burn."
Mark Beeson
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friends, Friends, Friends
What would I do without them???"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
--> Proverbs 27:17
"It's better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there's no one to help, tough!
Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.
By yourself you're unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped."
--> Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Friday, August 14, 2009
Inseperable... "What is a friend, a single soul dwelling in 2 bodies."
Rebeccah Sarah Rendall is one of the best girls I have ever known. Her love for Christ shines brightly, and her love for others is something that I envy. I look at her and think, I wish I was exactly like her. She's one of the biggest role models in my life. I love to worship with her, and I loved getting to serve beside her this summer at Camp and Mexico. Get to know her, you won't be sorry.
"Every time your name comes up in prayer, I say, "Thank you, God!" I keep hearing of the love and faith you have for the Mather Jesus, which brims over to other believers. And I keep praying that this faith we hold in common keeps showing up in the good things we do, and that people recognize Christ in all of it." --> Philemon 1:4-6
Ready, Set, Goooo!
So I caved. I am officially entering in to the blog world! First off I'd like to make a confession. I am a blog-stalker. There, I said it. Truthfully, I love reading about people's lives, about their struggles, prayers, and funny things that happen to them. So, I figured, "Hey, why not join 'em?!"
Here I go.... I'm not too sure what one would say on a first blog entry... I want to say something poised, but not too deep so that people would think that I just sit around at home thinking of profound things to say, because that's not me at all. So here is my attempt to put words together that will somehow cause you to keep reading my posts. My name is Eden, and I love Jesus. If I concluded my post there you would pretty much know everything that you could want to about me. Jesus has changed my life, and I live everyday to honor and glorify him. My biggest goal in life is to love God, love the people around me, and live my life in such a way that God will shine through me.
I hope that after reading this you don't feel like I just wasted your precious time! I hope and pray that God would speak through my words and stories to lift up and encourage anyone who reads it.
Thanks a bunch for stopping by :)
Here I go.... I'm not too sure what one would say on a first blog entry... I want to say something poised, but not too deep so that people would think that I just sit around at home thinking of profound things to say, because that's not me at all. So here is my attempt to put words together that will somehow cause you to keep reading my posts. My name is Eden, and I love Jesus. If I concluded my post there you would pretty much know everything that you could want to about me. Jesus has changed my life, and I live everyday to honor and glorify him. My biggest goal in life is to love God, love the people around me, and live my life in such a way that God will shine through me.
I hope that after reading this you don't feel like I just wasted your precious time! I hope and pray that God would speak through my words and stories to lift up and encourage anyone who reads it.
Thanks a bunch for stopping by :)
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